'Oh no! You can't wear purple...'


This poem was written for a special friend and ladies of a certain age. 
I hope 2014 is a purple year for everyone.

'Oh No! You Can't Wear Purple'

“Oh no, you can’t wear purple!”
My friend screeched in the shop.
“It’s not your shade or colour,
and please put back that top!”
“But I like the shiny sequins and
all the sparkly bits.’
My friend just said it made me look like
 I had great big tits!
I sighed and looked at others
There were none I really liked.
It was for a birthday party
So around the shops I hiked.
She said…
‘Now here’s a lovely beige blouse
Or this frilly one in cream
And look at this silk in fuchsia.’
Now I’m really going to scream!
So how could I ditch her
She was my bestest friend.
But then I had an idea
(she was driving me round the bend)
‘Let’s go for a coffee
I really need a rest.’
‘OK’ she said quite quickly
‘It may be for the best.’
I went to get the coffees -
(no sugar for me please)
But then I went and ‘accidentally tripped’
I spilt the coffee over her knees!
‘Oh no!’ she shouted loudly
‘It’s all over my best dress!
Now I’ll have to drive back home
And leave you with this mess.’
‘Oh dear, please forgive me.
I’m sure it will wash out.’
‘Please don’t buy anything rashly.’
She warned (as if there were some doubt)
Could I possibly shop without her?
And should she really stay?
 And I said ‘No please, please go
Else we’ll be here all day!’
She went and I was so relieved
And with a little guilt
I went back to my favourite top
The purple one with matching belt all in gilt.
At my age I wear purple,
Who cares what people think?
It makes me feel quite Papal
And I may wear it with my ’mink’.
I saw my friend at the party
She said ‘ I love that top your wearing,
Isn’t it that fuchsia one I saw?
It does look good, it suits you
It slims you even more.’
‘It’s that purple top I told her
The one you didn’t like
And next time I go clothes shopping.
You can always take a hike!’

copyright Diana Leighton 2014